How to meet someone higher than you
People’s knowledge, cultivation, experience, and connection are different, so there are ordinary and distinguished.
This is a hierarchical difference in interpersonal relationships and a natural hierarchy.
The noble is a relative concept. Everyone is a noble and at the same time has his own object of respect.
Depending on who we associate with, our position will change.
Although the distinguished person does not belong to the same communication category as us, there are certain communication barriers, but we can break down the barriers to normal communication with them and even develop friendship.
So how to develop friendship with the distinguished?
First, consider each other rigorous.
To develop friendship with a distinguished person, we must first accurately grasp the relationship between the two parties, give them a corresponding position, and fully show respect and respect for him.
This is the confirmation and positioning of the relationship between the two parties, as well as the satisfaction of the other party’s desire to abide by it. It must be rigorous and uncompromising.
Xiao Xu was greatly appreciated by the leader of the Education Commission.
The leader is a teacher and he is approachable.
He once met with Xiao Xu, but he appreciated Xiao Xu’s talent and asked Xiao Xu to chat with him.
Xiao Xu didn’t feel complacent in front of the leaders. Forgetting the reason, he was rigorous and appropriate in his manners, very modest, and focused on distance.
Although the leader has a cheerful temperament and has repeatedly expressed that he wants to be more casual, Xiao Xu is still happy from the bottom of his heart. He feels that he is not mistaken.
In this way, Xiao Xu gradually established friendship with that leader.
Second, do not flatter, not humble.
Respect is principled, and see the truth.
If you disregard the principle and have a different purpose, you will lose your personality, and if you do not know your shame, you will show flattery to the distinguished.
This may seem to respect each other, but it is fundamentally different from respect.
Flattery, flattery, exaggeration, ulterior motives, can only make the noble people disgusted, disgusted, hate.
A friendship could have been established, but could not develop because the two sides lost their true feelings.
We can’t rule out that some distinguished people are so happy, they are willing to listen to flattery and look charming.
But is it necessary for such a distinguished person to develop friendship with him?
Third, the attitude is natural, and there is no need to be restrained.
Regardless of the distinguished person, or experience, knowledge, we are superior.
Contacting them often makes us respectfully, and sometimes we have a sense of coercion and embarrassment.
As ordinary people, especially young people who haven’t seen the world, in this situation, we often lead to distorted movements, slurred speech, especially awkwardness and rigidness.
In fact, distinguished people are also the object of our equal contact and a natural relationship. We must consider each other, unless we also base ourselves on ourselves, keep our square roots, maintain our true colors, and do not need to be restrained.
On the contrary, it can show their communicative charm, will win the recognition and respect of the other party, and the noble will be happy to develop friendship with us.
Xiao Bin is a talented and motivated young man. He wants to interact with some prestigious seniors, but the end result is failure.
The main reason is that Xiao Bin is too restrained. He is indifferent and indifferent. Of course, he disappoints his predecessor. How can he develop friendship with him?
Fourth, Qiao Tuo will match, not arrogant.
From the process of communication, the distinguished person is the protagonist of communication, and we are the supporting actors, which are secondary.
This is the status quo of communication and the rules of communication, which are determined by the identity and energy of communication.
We must actively support the noble, enthusiastically cooperate with the noble, saddle the horses, obey the needs, and wait for dispatch.
This is in line with communicative reality, it will not damage one’s “worth” at all, and will gain the trust of the distinguished.
And if you can’t straighten out this relationship, inappropriately show your ability, shake your talents, and even abandon and exclude the noble, which is often counterproductive.
Xiao Chan always hopes to show his talents and let an old man he respects most recognize him.Once, the old man sang Peking opera at the party. Although he didn’t sing well, he still won applause. Xiao Chan also thought that brightening his own voice would make the old man feel conscience.
So a Beijing opera sang loudly and loudly, but the old man felt very unnatural on the stage.
Xiao Can is just goodwill, but will the old man develop friendship with him when he “arrives” to the old man?
Fifth, take the initiative and be sincere.
The behavior of the noble must be consistent with his identity and association.
They generally do n’t take the initiative to associate with us, but as ordinary people, their status is lower, and the copy is lower than him.Communicative Practice.
Xiao Wen met an accomplished writer at a conference. He cherishes this relationship very much, but he is an ordinary person and a younger generation. Of course, he did not attract the writer’s attention.
But Xiao Wen regards it as natural, and he has no grumbling. He must send greeting cards to the writer every holiday.
Finally the writer remembered Xiaowen and had an unusual friendship with him.
6. Asking for help and receiving care and respect for the noble is a symbol of strength. In front of him, we noticed that it was weak and immature.
So accept and ask for care.
This is what we seek and urgently need in our interaction with the noble. As the noble, he will also get the joy of giving and supporting, which is a realization of self-worth.
Look for the desire to care for one who respects the noble, and the other should be moderate and appropriate, not relying on and attaching to the noble.
This includes proper help and some degree of help.
This will be recognized by the noble, and his friendship will be successfully obtained.
Xiaogang respects a well-known teacher in the school, and actively worships him as a teacher. He often asks questions for help and assistance.
Because Xiao Gang thought of his daily habits and habits, he would gain something every time he consulted.
In this one-on-one consultation, the teacher also became very interested in Xiao Gang and gradually developed a deep friendship.